It’s that time of year. Bathing suits get retired to a drawer and out come the sweaters, ready to be fluffed and eager for their time to shine. Gone are the warm days of summer ☹. Okay. FINE. wElcoME AuTUmN.  

I start to complain about the cold nights around this time, and my very lovely friend suggested (insisted) that I change my narrative, and instead of complaining about the frigid nights here in southern California…don’t @ me, I should embrace all of the ways I can keep my body warm. I love a good bath. I write about it ALL. THE. TIME. But I’m thinking outside the box here and I should introduce other ways to take care of my body, right? So today, here and now, I am introducing the first ever STEAM APPRECIATION WEEK!

Steam! Steam! STEAM!

That’s right! Steam. Hot water. Misty mist from H2O. I’m going to talk about how much I appreciate water and moisture in the form of STEAM. This week I’ll touch on 3 different ways to incorporate steam into your self-care routines. First stop on this steam train is our beautiful, gorgeous, sensitive nether region some call the “yoni”. Let’s talk yoni steams.

I discovered yoni steams around 2019 while researching natural relief from heavy periods and found a treasure trove of information. Both good and bad. There is some misinformation out there, and also just downright ignorant information. I’ve found that mainstream sites don’t really like natural healing in any form (mostly because if you can help yourself naturally using herbs and whatnot, then you’re not spending those megabucks with Big Pharma, and Big Pharma can’t be big without your bucks). Most of the mainstream sites fear monger you into thinking that hot water will scald your labia (duh, just test the water first) and the steam doesn’t travel all the way up your vaginal canal, therefore, WHY are you steaming if it’s not getting to where it needs to go. That’s ignorance. Steam relaxes your pelvic muscles, the warmth and moisture increase circulation which then causes the labia to swell and expose the inner labia’s mucus membranes. Simultaneously the natural oils of the botanical mixture are released through the steam and absorbed through the labia minora’s mucus membranes. ITs SciEnce dUH.

There’s always going to be speculation about whether natural treatments are effective or not. It’s the way western society operates. We’ve evolved into a society that has been hypnotized into thinking that western medicine is the ONLY medicine and anything else that claims to help, or treat, or cure any ailment of the human condition is quackery, and by law cannot even claim to do those things. It took 37 years and many chop shop operations on my beautiful body to for me to realize that the barbaric way western medicine treats human beings is wrong, and seeking alternative methods to savage, primitive surgeries and medicine isn’t just healthy and my right as a human, but it’s necessary. Western medicine won’t give you natural options as treatments because it won’t even acknowledge natural healing as an alternative method to anything.

Pause. Lemme just say one thing. I believe Western medicine is important. It’s leading edge. The advances in western medicine are necessary to the advancement of the human race. I know this, man. However, I'm not a numbnut who bucks western medicine and thinks that using a toothpick and an X-acto knife will be sufficient enough for an emergency appendectomy. 


"I wanted a natural remedy for hot flashes doctor, not my uterus removed"

Incorporating yoni steams into your vaginal care routine is a great way to up your vaginal care! What’s that? You don’t have a vaginal care routine? You really should! Taking care of one’s vagina isn’t only sanitary, but it’s another way to practice self-love. When your vagina is well taken care of, you’d be surprised how much the rest of your life seems to fall into place.  I speak from experience.

Yoni steaming is just now gaining traction in mainstream society, but it’s been practiced by homeopathic practitioners and natural enthusiasts for generations. Not to mention…ancestors. I’ve read across the entire internets about the potential benefits of yoni steaming and I’ve compiled a pretty thorough list of claims. In no particular order people have touted that yoni steams have the possibility of;


So, by now you’re convinced, you wanna steam your friggen vagina so dang bad right now, but you’re wondering HOW to even go about steaming your yoni, right? This is your ultimate guide to yoni steaming my dear, so lemme tell you the ways! First, you can go to a local women’s spa or even a birthing center. Check out their reviews on Yelp and see if you can speak with a specialist called a “Yoni Steam Practitioner”. Yoni steam sessions are pretty pricey, and if you’re trying to say, increase your fertility, going to a steam sesh 4 times a month can get pretty costly. Here in San Diego, they run around $50 a session. If you’re trying to keep the cost down, or just love to do-it-yourself (like me 😊) then you can do a yoni spa at home!

I’ve been yoni steaming pretty regularly for quite some time now, and I’m about to upgrade my whole setup and purchase a special Vaginal Steam Seat (this one here) check back for my review on it soon! For now, I use this Yoni Steam seat that fits nicely in my toilet. Old faithful has served me well for a couple of years now, but I realized recently that I’m pouring hot water into a plastic medical grade bin, and it doesn’t sit right with me, I just don’t like the idea of hot, steaming, chemical-laced plastic so close to the lady parts like that. The way I steam is pretty straightforward. I put my steam seat in the toilet, take about a cup of yoni steam blend and pour hot distilled water on the herbs. I wait about 15 min, and I ALWAYS TEST THE WATER before sitting down. Lemme…sigh…lemme tell you something. Sitting your vajay on hot scalding water ON PURPOSE makes you rethink where you’ve gone wrong in life. It takes a little bit of patience and TESTING OF THE WATER to know when it’s time to sit. For the love of. Just test your water before you sit. My best friend STILL tells me that she's burned her vajay to THIS DAY when she steams. When it’s a reasonable temperature (you’ll know because when you sit, you will physically feel the steam on your vagina, but it will NOT burn) sit down on the seat and cover yourself from the waist down with a blanket. Trap the steam down there. While you’re sitting, feel free to knit, have a gab with your mama, try to beat that level of that game you’re stuck on, or just play some music and meditate. Whatever you do while you steam, keep an eye on the clock cause after about 20-30 min, it’s time to get up. Dry yourself off and put some yoni oil on. Skip the panties cause your baby wants to breathe. Sometimes at this step I do a glance down and see if there’s any ingrown hairs or if I should exfoliate. Remember….yoni steaming can be a part of your entire yoni care routine!

I do special herbal blends for different times of the month. Sometimes I prepare for my period cramps and use a period blend, sometimes it’s after my period and I want to do a cleansing blend, for the love of god, don’t steam on your period though. Steaming on your period is a no-no because the increase in blood flow and circulation will only make your period heavier.

Here’s a couple of basic blends you  can make at home, but feel free to drop me a line and tell me which herbs you use in your yoni steam!

Lunar Yoni Steam – Before your period

1tbsp each

Motherwort            Rose         Red Raspberry Lf
Nettles                 Yarrow         Dong Quai
     Crampbark           Chamomile       Lavender            


Cleansing Yoni Steam – After your period

1tbsp each
Calendula            Basil                   Olive Lf
Peppermint          Lemon Balm       Lavender
Rose                    Chamomile         Rosemary

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